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Czas oczekiwania na psychoterapię to prawie dwa lata. începe să înveți
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The waiting time for psychotherapy is almost two years.
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A w szkole wciąż uczymy się mnóstwa nieprzydatnych rzeczy, zamiast tego, jak zadbać o siebie i swoje relacje. începe să înveți
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And at school we still learn a lot of useless things, instead of how to take care of ourselves and our relationships.
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Nikt nie oczekuje, że po jednej zjedzonej sałatce nasze zdrowie ulegnie poprawie. începe să înveți
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No one expects that our health will improve after eating just one salad.
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Ale w przypadku zdrowia psychicznego, tego właśnie oczekujemy. începe să înveți
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But when it comes to mental health, that's what we expect.
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To ciągła i konsekwentna praca z naszą głową każdego dnia, daje nam wyniki. începe să înveți
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It is the continuous and consistent work with our head every day that gives us results.
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Dobrostan to bardzo szerokie pojęcie. Dla mnie, opiera się on na czterech fundamentach. începe să înveți
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Well-being is a very broad concept. For me, it is based on four foundations.
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Oto one: sposób w jaki dbamy o swój organizm, sposób w jaki myślimy, sposób w jaki budujemy relacje, sposób w jaki operujemy w świecie, zwłaszcza jeśli chodzi o pracę. începe să înveți
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Here they are: the way we take care of our bodies, the way we think, the way we build relationships, the way we operate in the world, especially when it comes to work.
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A zatem, skupmy się na trzech pozostałych obszarach. începe să înveți
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So, let's focus on the remaining three areas.
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Zacznijmy od interpretacji rzeczywistości, czyli czegoś, co nazywamy monologiem wewnętrznym. începe să înveți
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Let's start with the interpretation of reality, or what we call internal monologue.
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Każdego dnia i w każdej chwili prowadzimy ze sobą wewnętrzna rozmowę. Przynajmniej większość z nas. începe să înveți
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Every day, at every moment, we have an internal conversation with ourselves. At least most of us do.
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Pojawiają się w nas emocje, reagujemy, podejmujemy decyzję, wszystko to w oparciu o założenia, które tworzą nasz system przekonań. începe să înveți
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We experience emotions, we react, we make decisions, all based on the assumptions that create our belief system.
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Niektóre z nich są konstruktywne i wspierające, inne ograniczające i powodujące cierpienie. Te drugie, będziemy nazywać gremlinami. începe să înveți
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Some of them are constructive and supportive, others are limiting and cause suffering. The latter, we will call gremlins.
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Każdy z nas ma jakieś gremliny, więcej lub mniej, związane z wrażliwymi obszarami w naszym życiu. începe să înveți
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We all have some gremlins, more or less, associated with sensitive areas in our lives.
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Przyjmują one różne strategie. Na przykład mówią nam, że wydarzy się coś złego. începe să înveți
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They adopt different strategies. For example, they tell us that something bad is going to happen.
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Niezależnie od sytuacji, zawsze widzą najgorsze możliwe zakończenie. începe să înveți
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Regardless of the situation, they always see the worst possible ending.
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Jeśli mam negatywny obraz twojej osoby, mogę zinterpretować ten sam uśmiech jako złośliwy, szyderczy. începe să înveți
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If I have a negative image of you, I may interpret the same smile as malicious, mocking.
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Inne oceniają cię w najgorszy możliwy sposób. începe să înveți
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Others judge you in the worst possible way.
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W zależności od sytuacji mówią, że jesteś głupia, mało kreatywna, leniwa, brzydka, czy egoistyczna. începe să înveți
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Depending on the situation, they say you are stupid, uncreative, lazy, ugly, or selfish.
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Pierwszym krokiem do zmiany jest rozpoznanie tych negatywnych myśli. Samo to nie jest takie proste. începe să înveți
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The first step to change is to recognize these negative thoughts. This alone is not that easy.
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Kiedy już je zidentyfikujemy, szukamy racjonalnego przekonania, którym możemy je zastąpić. începe să înveți
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Once we identify them, we look for a rational belief with which to replace them.
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Wybieramy takie, które nam odpowiada, w które jesteśmy w stanie uwierzyć, które jest racjonalne i prawdziwe. începe să înveți
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We choose one that suits us, that we can believe in, that is rational and true.
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I powtarzamy je sobie za każdym razem, kiedy jesteśmy w tej samej sytuacji. începe să înveți
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And we repeat them to ourselves every time we are in the same situation.
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Jutro mam szkolenie, gremlin mówi będzie strasznie. începe să înveți
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I have training tomorrow, gremlin says it's going to be terrible.
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Biorę głęboki oddech i powtarzam sobie: do tej pory mam dobre doświadczenia z prowadzeniem szkoleń. începe să înveți
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I take a deep breath and repeat to myself: so far I have had good experiences with conducting training.
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Albo: jestem dobrze przygotowany i wiem co chcę powiedzieć. începe să înveți
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Or: I am well prepared and I know what I want to say.
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Albo: jestem trochę zestresowany i to jest OK. To dla mnie ważne, więc mam prawo się stresować. începe să înveți
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Or: I'm a little stressed and that's OK. It's important to me, so I have the right to be stressed.
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Twoje dziecko spóźnia się pół godziny z dyskoteki szkolnej. începe să înveți
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Your child is half an hour late from the school disco.
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A gremlin już podsuwa obrazy jak z thrillera. începe să înveți
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And the gremlin is already suggesting images as if from a thriller.
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Pobity, zgwałcony, nie żyje, w rowie. începe să înveți
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Beaten, raped, dead, in a ditch.
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Wpadasz w panikę i spiralę negatywnych myśli. începe să înveți
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You fall into panic and a spiral of negative thoughts.
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Może jest pod wpływem narkotyków. începe să înveți
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Nie chodzi o to, żeby o nim zapomnieć. Wrócę do tego, kiedy nie będzie go tydzień. începe să înveți
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It's not about forgetting about him. I'll come back to this when he's gone for a week.
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Chodzi o to, żeby zamienić panikę na zdenerwowanie lub zmartwienie. începe să înveți
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The idea is to replace panic with nervousness or worry.
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Skuteczniej działa się pod wpływem zdenerwowania niż paniki. începe să înveți
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It is more effective to act when you are nervous than when you panic.
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Praca z przekonaniami wcale nie ma sprawić, że patrzymy na świat przez różowe okulary. începe să înveți
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Working with beliefs is not supposed to make us look at the world through rose-tinted glasses.
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Ma sprawić, że będziemy patrzeć bardziej obiektywnie na świat. începe să înveți
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It is supposed to make us look at the world more objectively.
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To nie prawda, że nam się nie uda. Nie wiemy tego. începe să înveți
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It's not true that we won't make it. We don't know that.
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Ale to też nieprawda, że nam się na pewno uda. Tego też nie wiemy. începe să înveți
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But it's also not true that we will definitely succeed. We don't know that either.
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Prawdą jest, że jesteśmy przygotowani, mamy ciekawą prezentację, do tej pory nie mieliśmy większych wpadek i tak dalej. începe să înveți
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The truth is that we are prepared, we have an interesting presentation, so far we have had no major lapses, and so on.
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Trzeci sposób, o którym chce powiedzieć, to odwołanie się do pozytywnych doświadczeń lub zasobów. începe să înveți
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The third way I want to talk about is referring to positive experiences or resources.
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Ile wystąpień publicznych masz za sobą? începe să înveți
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How many public speaking appearances have you made?
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Ile z nich było katastrofą? începe să înveți
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How many of them were a disaster?
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Więc dlaczego sądzisz, że zdarzy się coś, co się nie zdarzyło do tej pory? începe să înveți
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So why do you think something will happen that hasn't happened before?
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Ta metoda polega na tym, że koncentrujemy się na pozytywnych doświadczeniach, jakie mamy z daną sytuacją. începe să înveți
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This method involves focusing on the positive experiences we have with a given situation.
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Albo, jeśli robimy coś pierwszy raz, doświadczeniach z danym rodzajem sytuacji. începe să înveți
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Or, if we are doing something for the first time, our experiences with a given type of situation.
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Na przykład, byłem już w sytuacji, która była dla mnie nowa i poradziłem sobie z nią. începe să înveți
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For example, I have already been in a situation that was new to me and I have dealt with it.
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Wiele osób mówi o budowaniu relacji, niewiele rzeczywiście ja buduje. începe să înveți
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Many people talk about building relationships, few actually build them.
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Znam niezliczoną liczbę relacji tonących w niedopowiedzeniach, wzajemnych pretensjach i zranieniach. începe să înveți
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I know countless relationships drowning in understatements, mutual resentment, and hurt.
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Budowanie relacji to przede wszystkim otwarta komunikacja. începe să înveți
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Building relationships is, above all, about open communication.
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Na dobry początek zrezygnujcie z nastawienia "nie powiem, ona/ on powinien się domyślić." începe să înveți
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For a good start, give up "I won't tell, she/he should guess." attitude.
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